They also contain high fructose corn syrup which is very unhealthy for dogs. ![]() The amount of this oil in them is very small, but it is important to know that it’s harmful to dogs in large amounts. Some of the health problems that all this extra weight can cause include heart diseases, or intestinal blockage.įig Newton bars contain one of the most common toxic ingredients for dogs that are in a bunch of processed human snacks – hydrogenated cottonseed oil. Fat dogs might make funny videos, but this extra weight puts them at risk for lots of health issues. ![]() It is very important to prevent your dog from eating too many calories and becoming obese. Dogs that eat a lot of sugar are also at a higher risk of getting diabetes. The high sugar content in these cookies puts your dog at risk of more weight gain. In fact, they don’t have much nutritional value to canines. If you eat a Fig Newton before bed, you’ll have the most erotic wet dream imaginable! For most, it takes the form of an anthropomorphic Fig Newton drawing you into its arms, whispering the most tantalizing dirty talk into your ear, and inviting you to a night of unparalleled pleasure.Fig Newtons are considered junk foods because of all the added sugar in them. You probably already know this one, because we all constantly are scarfing down Fig Newtons at every stage of coitus, utilizing every possible orifice. They’re a great snack after sex, before sex, during sex, or for having sex with. #4: Any time is the right time to get your fig on Your gut health will never have a better friend than a Fig Newton and other parts of your anatomy. The Mediterranean fruit is naturally high in calcium, potassium, magnesium, fiber, and the ability to make any living human drop to their knees, overcome by raw lust. #3: They don’t just help you fuck!įigs promote digestive health because there’s nothing those babies can’t and won’t do for our bodies. Currently, Nabisco manufactures strawberry, apple cinnamon, raspberry, cherry, and blueberry Newton flavors, none of which sell a fraction of the original fig variety because of brand awareness and their comparative lack of sex appeal. There are several different varieties of fruit-filled Newton cookies, but none can compare to the sheer erotic power of the fig. In a successful attempt to create a healthy baked good, Roser invented a process by which mashed figs were deeply, penetratingly inserted into a tube of cookie dough and history was made. #1: Crumble beginningįig Newtons were first created by Charles Roser, one of Philadelphia’s most expert bakers and inventors of marital aids! In the 19th century, it was generally agreed upon by physicians that in addition to cocaine-infused colas, a healthy diet consisted of figs and crumbly, luscious, engorgement-causing biscuits. These wild facts about the world’s sexiest snack are not only fun but also sure to leave you quivering with the kind of desire that only the gods know in their revels. Although we all have great memories of having a delicious yet healthy snack that also makes us more aroused and conscious of the erotic potential of our bodies than any human could, we bet there’s a lot you don’t know about the Fig Newton! ![]() Since 1891, the world has enjoyed Nabisco’s greatest and most fuckable creation, the Fig Newton cookie.
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